It Intimidates Me

It intimidates me… It’s the hardest thing I have to face every morning. When I think of dealing with it, I literally become paralyzed. I tell myself I can’t face it, not today… and sometimes I don’t. As I stand there watching it, I finally muster up the courage, and I do it. I jump in. The moment I reach the bone shattering water, I scream a little inside. You’d think that I would get use to the shower after being in Africa for a month, but I haven’t. This experience happens to me everyday, unless I truly can’t handle it, and I just wash my hair in the sink. It is actually quite humorous how much fear I have of taking a shower☺ I hate cold water…
    Well, where did I leave off last. I know some of you have been wondering where my blog went. I am still not sure because as I’m writing this post, I haven’t even gotten on the Internet. I write all my emails offline because I don’t have Internet in my home. I have to drive an hour on a little moto taxi that, after taking the trip, I have to rest my but because the roads are so bad. There are rocks the size of half dome in the middle of the road (little exaggeration☺). Now that my blog is online again, I have figured it out!
    Funny/Sad experience happened since the last time I wrote. You know how I got goats? Well, when I was at work one day, the gate must have been opened by someone, and my goats were gone. For two days I was looking all over for them, and actually praying that they would come back. I left it up to God to bring them back home… a ridiculous thing to ask. Well, they showed up yesterday! They were just chilling in a field right outside my house. I don’t know what it is; I have so much love for these goats. They are my one and only pets here, and I can’t loose them again. Interestingly enough, I actually though about it the other day, how much God loves us, and we continually run away from Him, but He patiently waits, or goes out searching for us until one day we show up. I love these goats so much. How much more does the Heavenly Father love His children! WOW.
    I have now delivered 4 babies, 3 beautiful girls and 1 handsome boy! I will probably never see deliveries this intense in America. As I’m trying to get the baby’s head out of the cervix, the other doctor is pushing on the woman’s stomach trying to help the baby come out. Others are holding her legs apart, and I’m trying to reach around the baby’s head to conclude a fast delivery. Relieved, I haven’t delivered any underdeveloped baby, but I have heard more than occasionally of a woman who has a miscarriage, abortion, or has an underdeveloped baby because of the sickness and disease here. Malaria destroys a lot of people’s lives here. After being here for only two weeks, my housemate, Catilin Cuenca, has malaria. She has taken the week off to rest, and she is starting to feel better. I feel like her mother because she isn’t taking the Advil for her headache unless I’m forcing her to. One day, I was telling her about the consequences of not taking Advil and that I would really like her to take it she said… “Thanks Mom”. Well, what can I say, I don’t want her to get sick enough to have an IV.
    I have been doing random odd things everyday. I pretty much go from one section of the hospital to another every hour or so. The other day I helped measure pregnant women’s stomachs. I’ve also still been helping give IV’s as well as taking blood tests. It’s the same thing mostly every day. This week especially has been rough though because 4 kids have died in the Emergancy room… its only Wednesday.
    I had the amazing opportunity to say 7 verses from Psalms 122:1-7 at church… In French! I practiced and practiced, but the morning of Sabbath I was still confused with some words. I didn’t know what to do because no one in my house could help me and I didn’t want to make fool of myself. I just did my worship normally, and when I was about to open the French Bible to practice, a boy randomly came to my gate. I invited him in, and he helped me with all of the words I was confused about. He was an angel in my book. I read the verses, wondering if anyone even understood me, and surprisingly enough after church, people were impressed with what I accomplished. Praise God. Its kind of funny… whenever I go to church, since I don’t understand the songs the pastor or anyone else is singing for that matter, I try to secretly look at one person’s mouth, and try to pronounce the words… the problem is, they end up looking at me, so I have to change people every few seconds. Its difficult to sing the songs, but the melody is familiar a lot of times. They sing many hymns.
    When I thought of coming here, and after hearing that there was not doctor, the only thing that was on my mind is the fact that I might have to be the doctor. I didn’t realize that if I got sick, there isn’t a doctor to take care of me! Right when I was close to freaking out, Katie told me that there are American doctors about 3 hours away if I was desperate for help… that calmed me down a bit.
    The electricity goes out once in awhile (I walk around with a candle like it’s the 1800’s), and sometimes we have to cook outside on the fire. Other days, I do my laundry (so much easier in America with washing machines… it takes me hours to do one load), but its an adventure that I won’t be able to have back in America. Everyday brings new insights for me, and a chance to learn more! I have started to have a system every day of praying for 10 minutes, asking God to reveal His Will to me this year. Recently I went to my mamma’s house (Zara), and she told me of a project that she has been praying about for quite sometime. She wants to build a shelter for woman and children who do not have a man to take care of them, or a home to live in. We have been praying sincerely, weeping sometimes because of the suffering that people have to go through. This project is going to be what I focus on this year, and maybe even when I go home. I need help in raising money for a shelter, and getting people together to build it. Right now, it is not going fast, but we are continually on our knees to see what God has to offer us. I prayed one day and God opened my eyes to this verse: “For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.” 2 COR 4:17,18. We will stay faithful to this verse, and trust that God has a plan.
    So this has been my experience so far, with so much more in-between that I can’t write or this post will be WAY too long. I’m praying each day that God will bring a doctor here… the other day a woman was in labor, and we had to send her away because the baby’s hands were coming out first, and we are not allowed to do C-sections. CRAZY! If I were at the hospital I would have said, “screw it… take that baby out, whatever you have to do!” But… who knows where the mom had the baby, maybe on the side of the road. Please keep praying that a Doctor would be willing to give a little bit of his service to the people here in Africa. Thank you for listening to my stories… A Bientot! (I’ll se you next time)
   

Many Stories to Tell

Since I haven’t been able to use the Internet for half the time I’ve been here, there is a lot to write about my experience. I don’t really even know when I left off. I have been in Koza, Cameroon for about a month now. During my stay, there have been days with no water, days with no electricity, days with no gas, and days with all three! Its an epic journey that God is bringing me on… one of patience and grace in times of need. I will try to fill you in on the things that I’ve done since the last time I wrote (I’m sorry its been so long).
    I have been surprised in myself. I have missed home a lot, but God has kept me sane. The moment I stepped into the hospital, I made immediate friends… even people who didn’t speak English. God has allowed people in my life that have been more than generous. Taking care of me when I thought I wouldn’t have food. Helping me bargain in the market. Giving me French lessons when I was thriving off every French word they spoke to me. I am truly blessed to be here. I am glad I didn’t have high expectations. Its always better that way because every little thing that happens in my life, I thank God for!
    You might be wondering what I am actually accomplishing at the hospital since I’ve been here so I’ll fill you in. The first week I got here was rough because of the time difference. Staying up all-night and wishing I could sleep during the day at the hospital. I’m pretty sure that the hospital workers thought I was a zombie. I’m an African now! I eat African food that our housekeeper cooks, and I wear my clothes at least three times during the week… it makes the most sense that way. PS: The American food that I have learned to make is spaghetti, ice cream, chips, and other things. It takes so much longer, but well worth it! I absolutely love seeing different people during the day, and try to have a conversation with them in French. It is still hard because the main language is French here, yes, but there are also many other local languages. Mafa, Arabic, and others. I’m sticking with French at this time… can’t do too much more.
    My job here at the hospital is wonderful. Some days it’s a little slow, and other days it’s crazy! I wonder around to each different section throughout the day. We have five different sections of the hospital. Pediatrics, Adults, Emergency room, Maternity, and Lab. Of course… I have stuck mostly with the Emergency room because that is where everyone comes through. It’s where everyone gets administrated, and also those we have to send away because we do not have proper treatment for them. We need a doctor… but they do work really well with what they have, I’m impressed. The hospital workers are realizing slowly my potential. I’m in everyone’s business trying to have opportunity after opportunity to learn everything that is medical. They are ok with it too! My nursing professor would be happy to know that I am digging in the nursing drug book trying to understand the drugs to administer for each patient who comes in. I have diagnosed many!:) They also call me when they need me to put an IV in, and I get right on it, and have not failed every time thank goodness. I was able to give a malnourished child an NG tube. During the process he had hate in his eyes for me, but I’m sure if he could talk to me, he would be thankful for the treatment we gave him. I also have done many tests. Malaria, Typhoid, Urine, Stool, and Donner blood type. Its amazing to watch blood through a microscope, or check the blood type manually. Clara, the lab tech, laughs at me because I’m so so interested every time! I have given a child oxygen, and put proper medicine through IV when needed. I am proud to say that I have delivered three babies successfully! They were all females and all beautiful☺ One baby had trouble getting through because the opening was too small, but it was still a beautiful cone head baby;). I have sad news though…
    One delivery that I wasn’t the doctor for, but I helped with, there were some complications. The mother had malaria, and a few weeks before the nurse didn’t find a heart beat. The baby came through the opening with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. We delivered him, but he was not breathing. It was the first time I have ever done CPR, and it was an innocent little child that hadn’t been in the world more than a few minutes. I kept saying “come on baby, come on baby, you can do it”. Finally, the doctor stopped giving oxygen, and I kept giving compressions. I swear I could have done it all day, but once I felt the baby getting cold, I knew it was too late. I wept… I didn’t know something so small could go through something so traumatic. The baby was trying to survive. There were moments where he took deep breaths, but it was like it could get air. I went over to the mother after I had my moment to pray and thank God for my life. With tears in my eyes, I leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Desole, Due se avec tua” which means “I’m sorry, God is with you”. That was probably the hardest day here… but things happen for a reason.
    I’d like to have to know that Caitlin here, and we have been having a grand time together! You won’t believe this… We bought baby GOATS! We treat them like dogs and it is the funniest things. We only have had them for 1 day, but they are definitely pampered. They cry a lot, and I feel bad because they want their mamma. They were destined to die anyway, so that is my excuse for saying that they will be fine. Today we found out that Caitlin has malaria… I am trying my best to be there for her, but what she needs is a lot of rest, water, and food. Our housekeeper had malaria too… Thank God I haven’t gotten it yet. I’m trying to take care of myself but I have to expect the worst.
    I hope that this is sufficient enough information to let you know what I’m doing and how my life is going. I don’t know when the next time I’ll get to Internet, but soon I’m going to Maura, and Caitlin and I will buy an Internet key. I miss all of you back in America! Please continue to pray for me, I still need it! I have lots more to say, but I don’t want to bore you. Bonne Joune! (Good Day)

God Has been working (warning, these messages don't match up with the date)

God has been working! Before I came to Cameroon, some of my close friends knew that I was expecting the worst. I made myself believe that I was going to be living on my own and be the only American here. Also, have to wonder around the hospital because I didn’t speak French. I was also prepared to face the worst with communication with family back home. I don’t know if God provided because He thought I might not be able to handle it… even though I was ready, but it has been a miracle after miracle coming here to Cameroon. First, I don’t know how to shop at the market, let alone speak the local language to even know if the people are ripping me off! Yves, the administrator, and his wife, as well as kids, have made my stay here extremely comfortable. They took me into their home, and gave me meals for the first few nights. I also got to rest a lot when I came. I am having a good time trying to learn the language, although it is difficult now. There are people that work in the hospital that love learning English, and are happy to talk to me. I was with one nurse today, my first day on the job, and he literally explained everything step by step. I feel way more prepared than I thought I would be. I fainted today… now let me explain. I was in the hospital and I’m not sure what came over me but all of a sudden I couldn’t hear anything, my body turned boiling hot, and I got extremely dizzy. For a few seconds I tried to listen to the nurse explain things to me, but the next thing I know he is asking me what is wrong and I’m on the floor. I don’t think I fell because he caught me, but I definitely blacked out… it was so so embarrassing on my first day. The nurses explained that it is common for people from America to come to the hospital, and feel dizzy because of the smell of the patients. I didn’t think I was that weak, but I remembered I hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning, so I was already vulnerable. I’m glad nothing worse happened to me. I’m good! It was no big deal!:) It was pretty slow day, but I got to see a lumbar puncture which is where the doctor (in this case nurse☺) takes a needle and stabs the patient in the back, retrieving clear liquid to test for sicknesses such as meningitis. I was also able to observe the pediatric hospital, which another woman, Elissa (no joke, but not sure if its spelled the same), was in charge of. The hospital staff called her Elissa1, and me Elissa2. They are a fun group of people to work with, I tell ya. At the end of the workday, which ends at 2 pm (pretty chill), I was asked to give an IV to a child. The pressure was on… and I took that opportunity to stay calm, remember to SAY YES TO EVERYTHING, and successfully gave my first IV (in Cameroon). It was epic! Everyone was looking at me, and when I finished, one of the nurses said, “She is so intelligent”. I don’t think he knew I had done it before in Haiti… I’m so happy to say that another American is close by to me. Oh my goodness how much of a blessing she is. Get this! She comes over to say hello, and I end up going to her house, she gives me cook books, French books, and taco seasoning, and also would be delighted to show me Koza, and the surrounding area. She is going to take me hiking! And the best part? She is here till December… We are going to be good buddies. She likes a lot of the same things I do. She is from New York! Wow… if you think it doesn’t get better, I have a housekeeper! His name is Isaiah and he cooks and cleans the house. Granted, I have to do my clothes and sweep my room, but he makes me a meal everyday. I think I have it better than America! I have been trying to talk to him in French, and we have had a few conversations, but of course his English is bad, and my French is probably worse☺ I have a full day tomorrow… hopefully I will get some rest tonight. Last night I didn’t sleep at all because of jetlag. I’m getting use to it though. Catilin is coming soon! For those starting school back at home, I miss you and wish I could be here and there at the same time! We will see each other soon! Until next time, au revoir.